agent_squeaks: (Default)
"Eventually, I realized that being recognizable as a girl was not the same thing as recognizing myself. In daydreams, I had never pictured myself with a face. It took photographs and mirrors to remind myself of what I looked like, because I honestly couldn’t call up a mental image of myself."

it's funny

Jun. 29th, 2010 11:34 am
agent_squeaks: (Default)
how the little things can make one get all dysphoric and twitchy and unhappy.

[or arghflx i've had to wear her underwear these past couple days and i can't pack in them ('cause they're all silky smooth back when i overcompensated] and it's driving me fucking nuts and i hate it hate it hate hate it) though my mother did give me a bunch of her sports bras-which and they're a bit too small-makes them great for binding. but they're uneven 'cause of that frickin huge scar on my chest and i hate cause everytime i look down i can see that imperfect line and it's driving me fucking crazy and i cn't fucking stand it and

it's been about a month since i came out to them [as non-binary trans*, at the time i was] and my mom hasn't mentioned anything to me. i know these things take time but still...and i know she knows i changed my name on facebook but she hasn't mentioned that and damn it i want to come out to them but the denial they're going through is making me not want to -well not to them, to people they're friends with, yes-and i

think i may have officially come out on facebook. with a link. this should be fun.

[the link in question: ] (yeah, i'm the first letter. ^_^)
agent_squeaks: (Default)
god i love how i smell after a workout. all sweaty and male. yesss...
and that rush afterwards? bliss.

also, have a link:

^he is awesome. And I don't usually listen to rap.
agent_squeaks: (Default)
First trans question on my formspring [link: ]

"Wait so you ID as male. Did you have a sex change operation? Going to? Considering it?"

I don't mind the first part but that first question? I started laughing. Was tempted to answer yes
[in a couple months, yes, yes I did. :p]

(question before this:
"are you lesbian or bi? just curious

Considering i ID as male, this question should probably be asking if I'm straight.
But, I'm bi. I still find other guys attractive but right now I'm leaning more towards women. [Of course, sexuality, like most things is fluid.]"]
Also, just passing this along:

May 2015

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